The God of the Lost Keys

Recently, I listened to a podcast called the God of the Lost Keys on Mormon Expression. Found here. It was an amazing podcast and you should listen to it. A very small portion is devoted to the concept of a miracle that nothing happened. As a True Believing Mormon growing up whenever something did not go right and it made me frustrated such as my car not starting, and then either after a prayer or after some time of trying, it suddenly started up and I was free to go on my way, I always gave the credit to God. Not in the sense that he was punishing me (which certainly did go through my head several times before I got to the end result, fighting down those womanly feelings of inadequacy even though I was as true as humanly possible) but in the sense that God made it happen so that something else that is SUPER DUPER BAD didn't happen to me.

Thinking back on that time in my life it gave me the ability to have patience in my frustration. When in reality now, I curse and get angry at it happening. Why? Because I know its my fault. I forgot to turn off the lights and therefore the car is dead. If it happens to come back on later its because there was a little bit of battery left enough to get it started. I should have more patience now when things don't go right because that is just part of life. But I should not and do not give the credit to God. Its what happens when you don't plan ahead or technology fails on you. It has nothing to do with God. If it did, why would God make you sleep in so the Angel of Death wouldn't get you? but let an innocent child in Sudan die of starvation. You know, one every hour? More on that later.

An acquaintance of mine posted this on their blog. I was absolutely stunned at the fact that just five years ago I would have thought this was the most holy true thing in the world and now I see it for what it is, flawed and putting the blame on someone else. Here is the quote:

Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God:Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

I absolutely disagree with every single one of these. Why did you sleep in? Don't try to blame it on God, you slept in because you didn't set your alarm or didn't go to bed on time. Why did your car not start? Don't blame it on God, you haven't replaced your battery or you left your lights on. Your sandwich was made wrong and you had to wait? Who are you, the Queen of Sheba? Wait the damn extra ten minutes (if that) and be glad you actually have food to eat. Your phone went dead on the way home? Don't blame God, realize that if you'd actually put your phone on the charger all night it would not have died. Also, you have the ability to get a new battery if that one is a gonner. Just saying. Your foot massager wouldn't work? Seriously? This is written by the entitlement generation. Be glad that you can afford one and maybe ... give yourself a massage? Oh, wait that would be too much work. Seriously, all these made could be completely avoided by actually being responsible.

Secondly, Gods answer. Angel of Death? Drunk driver accident (in the morning...)? Getting an illness? Giving false witness against you? The power going out? Oh my gosh. If he cares about these things in your life, you are saying you are the most specialist person in the world AND if any of these things happen to other people, it is because he doesn't love them as much as he loves you. Or they were wicked. Or it happened to them so something more horrible didn't happen to them. It makes no sense that God would care about these minute things but not care about so many more important things that happen to people. More later here. Doesn't this take away the agency of other people to do bad things? The drunk driver had their agency to hit this person on the way to work. It was their right as a human to get drunk and hit this person. Just like it is the agency of the perpetrator to rape, abuse, and kill. There are so many other things, like starvation, being forced into sex slavery, being forced to be a soldier as a little kid, being murdered at the hands of extremists who believe God told them to kill you because they raped you and made you unclean, being murdered in cold blood, seeing your family burned and tortured to death, watching your children starve to death. There are so many atrocities in the world you can not explain them away. They are innocent people who suffer at the hands of evil wicked men and all you can focus on is that your car didn't start and God saved you from getting hit by a drunk driver? In my estimation you should have been allowed to be hit. Get some patience and smell the flowers - logic is not in your argument.

Where the hell do people see logic in any of that bull shit?

Because they are taught it in their culture, in their religion, and they don't want to blame themselves or think that its just life and they need to deal with it. No, there is a much higher power here. (barf).

Things happen in life because you made them happen or another person made them happen or technology failed. It has nothing to do with if God loves you more or is trying to teach you something. Yes, you may learn from it (patience), but in no way can it be attributed to a higher power. That is just ridiculous and honestly sickening if true, because it would mean God is a lover of the rich and a hater of the poor, the woman, the black. And if there is a God and he is like that, I don't want anything to do with him.